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By Ben Penner, Farm Director
Almost every day I get to explain to longtime Open Arms volunteers and donors, as well as new friends and community members, how Open Farms is a different kind of farm. It’s a lot of fun to tell people how it’s a bit like a CSA, but we don’t sell shares, and it’s kind of like a traditional farm, but we don’t use chemicals to grow our vegetables, herbs and flowers. And since it’s an Open Arms program, it is also a part of a nonprofit nutrition organization serving people who are ill -- probably the only farm of its kind in America. So there is always plenty to talk about.
I enjoy this conversation because it gets to the heart of the current national conversation about our food system, the Farm Bill and healthy eating. I love farming, and I love to talk about farming with, well, almost anyone who will listen, but I have noticed over the past few years that the conversation has become, shall we say, strained. We seem to have folks talking past one another, yelling: "Conventional! Traditional! Agriculture!" And others yelling: "Organic! Small! CSA!" When did all this shouting start?
We all -- and I include myself in this -- need to take a step back and listen to the needs of our neighborhoods, our communities, our nation and the world and then discern the best way -- or ways -- forward. The complexity and scope of our food system is pressing us to rise to the challenge in creative ways. The question arises: how can we discern the best system or combination of systems for healthy living? This is no Utopian scheme, whether technological, neo-agrarian, individualistic or communitarian. This is first and foremost knowing something about the communities and cultures we inhabit, and then setting about providing the right food on the most appropriate scale. For Open Arms, this means our clients and our local community. Unlike much of the conversation around food and especially farming techniques, this isn't limited to political action but rather social action on a scale that fosters health. To accomplish this task even on this relatively limited scale will take more than mud-slinging.
That is what I like about the conversation at Open Arms. As a nutrition organization dedicated to providing healthy food for people living with life-threatening illnesses, we are a microcosm of the conversation that can happen all over the country. In our day-to-day work, our focus as an organization must be on providing the right food, in the right amount for the health of our clients.
27 Haziran 2012 Çarşamba
Weekly Recipe #65: Goma-ae: Japanese Spinach Salad
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By Susan Pagani, Communications Director
Whenever my husband and I go out for sushi, we ask for two orders of goma-ae. The curls of sesame laden spinach are so tasty and go down so easily that if we were to order just one dish, we would likely cross chopsticks in a battle for the last bite. In this recipe, New York Times food writer Martha Rose Shulman has created a healthier version with less sugar.
Soon we will all be buried in June lettuce, but if you happen to be reading this in the future, the recipe also works with frozen spinach, which in the golden age of flash freezing, is not such a bad option if you buy the good stuff.
Goma-ae: Japanese Spinach Salad
(Makes 4 small servings)
2 6-oz. bags baby spinach (or 1 1/2 pounds, stemmed and washed)
3 tbsp. toasted sesame seeds
2 tsp. sugar
1 tbsp. plus 1 tsp. low-sodium soy sauce
1 tbsp. sake
1 tbsp. water (more to taste)
1/2 tsp. dark sesame oil
1. Bring a large pot of generously salted water to a boil. Fill a bowl with ice water. Blanch the spinach for 10 to 20 seconds in the boiling water and transfer to the ice water using a deep-fry skimmer. Drain and gently squeeze out water. Chop coarsely.
2. Make the dressing. If your sesame seeds have not been toasted, heat a dry skillet over medium heat and add the sesame seeds. Stir and shake the pan constantly, and as soon as the seeds turn golden and smell nutty, transfer to a suribachi mortar and pestle or to a spice mill. Allow to cool. Grind the seeds just until crushed.
3. Combine the soy sauce and sugar in a small bowl and stir until the sugar has dissolved. Add the sake and water, then stir in the ground sesame seeds. Thin out with water. Toss with the spinach and stir together until the dressing infuses the spinach. Be careful not to bruise the spinach leaves. Divide into four small bunches and place in the middle of four small plates or bowls. Drizzle on a few drops of sesame oil. Serve at room temperature.
Advance preparation: You can blanch the spinach up to a day in advance. The dish can be assembled and refrigerated several hours before serving.
Whenever my husband and I go out for sushi, we ask for two orders of goma-ae. The curls of sesame laden spinach are so tasty and go down so easily that if we were to order just one dish, we would likely cross chopsticks in a battle for the last bite. In this recipe, New York Times food writer Martha Rose Shulman has created a healthier version with less sugar.
Soon we will all be buried in June lettuce, but if you happen to be reading this in the future, the recipe also works with frozen spinach, which in the golden age of flash freezing, is not such a bad option if you buy the good stuff.
Goma-ae: Japanese Spinach Salad
(Makes 4 small servings)
2 6-oz. bags baby spinach (or 1 1/2 pounds, stemmed and washed)
3 tbsp. toasted sesame seeds
2 tsp. sugar
1 tbsp. plus 1 tsp. low-sodium soy sauce
1 tbsp. sake
1 tbsp. water (more to taste)
1/2 tsp. dark sesame oil
1. Bring a large pot of generously salted water to a boil. Fill a bowl with ice water. Blanch the spinach for 10 to 20 seconds in the boiling water and transfer to the ice water using a deep-fry skimmer. Drain and gently squeeze out water. Chop coarsely.
2. Make the dressing. If your sesame seeds have not been toasted, heat a dry skillet over medium heat and add the sesame seeds. Stir and shake the pan constantly, and as soon as the seeds turn golden and smell nutty, transfer to a suribachi mortar and pestle or to a spice mill. Allow to cool. Grind the seeds just until crushed.
3. Combine the soy sauce and sugar in a small bowl and stir until the sugar has dissolved. Add the sake and water, then stir in the ground sesame seeds. Thin out with water. Toss with the spinach and stir together until the dressing infuses the spinach. Be careful not to bruise the spinach leaves. Divide into four small bunches and place in the middle of four small plates or bowls. Drizzle on a few drops of sesame oil. Serve at room temperature.
Advance preparation: You can blanch the spinach up to a day in advance. The dish can be assembled and refrigerated several hours before serving.
Weekly Recipe #66: Dino Kale & Cranberry Salad
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By Kelly McManus, Creative Director
This salad is very light and springy and green. And sweet: the first bite recalls new leaves and maraschino cherries -- well, not quite that sweet.
My husband, who loves curly dino kale, recently found a similar salad at Whole Foods Market and thought it would be a nice change from the cooked greens of winter. We enjoyed it so much that we decided to create our own version, which has since become a household favorite. In fact, we've eaten it nearly every night since.
What makes it so good? I think it's the combination of textures -- light greens, chewy berries -- and opposing flavors, sweet, spicy and tart. It simply tastes like summer.
Dino Kale Salad with Cranberries
(Serves 4 to 6)
1/2 lb. kale (1 bunch), washed and cut
4 oz. of baby arugula, washed and stemmed
1/2 cup dried cranberries
1/3 cup grape tomatoes, halved
1/2 cup pine nuts, lightly toasted
1. Combine all of the ingredients in a large bowl and toss together with lemon vinaigrette.
Lemon Vinaigrette:
2 tbsp. olive oil
2 tbsp. lemon juice
2 tbsp. honey
1/4 tsp. salt
1. Combine all of the ingredients in a jar. Shake until emulsified.
This salad is very light and springy and green. And sweet: the first bite recalls new leaves and maraschino cherries -- well, not quite that sweet.
My husband, who loves curly dino kale, recently found a similar salad at Whole Foods Market and thought it would be a nice change from the cooked greens of winter. We enjoyed it so much that we decided to create our own version, which has since become a household favorite. In fact, we've eaten it nearly every night since.
What makes it so good? I think it's the combination of textures -- light greens, chewy berries -- and opposing flavors, sweet, spicy and tart. It simply tastes like summer.
Dino Kale Salad with Cranberries
(Serves 4 to 6)
1/2 lb. kale (1 bunch), washed and cut
4 oz. of baby arugula, washed and stemmed
1/2 cup dried cranberries
1/3 cup grape tomatoes, halved
1/2 cup pine nuts, lightly toasted
1. Combine all of the ingredients in a large bowl and toss together with lemon vinaigrette.
Lemon Vinaigrette:
2 tbsp. olive oil
2 tbsp. lemon juice
2 tbsp. honey
1/4 tsp. salt
1. Combine all of the ingredients in a jar. Shake until emulsified.
Weekly Recipe #70: White Bean & Garlic Scapes Dip
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By Jeanne Foels, Marketing & Outreach Coordinator
Last week at Open Farms, our garden in Belle Plaine, volunteers harvested bunches of garlic scapes, a special June visitor that mystifies CSA shareholders and delights garlic lovers. What are these curly green tendrils appearing on farmers market tables?
Garlic, like leeks and onions and the rest of its relatives in the allium family, grows underground. Farmers plant cloves in the soil during the fall, right after the first major frost, and cover them with mulch. In the springtime, bright green shoots poke up from the hardening bulb -- the garlic scapes! These shoots draw energy away from the bulb, so farmers trim the scapes, which then become an early summer treat for cooks in the know.
Scapes definitely taste garlic-y, but their flavor is much smoother and lighter than full-strength cloves. You can add garlic scapes to stir frys, throw them in egg scrambles, or whiz them into garlic scape pesto. This recipe combines them with white beans to make a simple, creamy dip. Pair it with chips, carrots or celery sticks for your next summer picnic.
White Bean & Garlic Scapes Dip
Adapted from NYTimes.com
(Makes 1 1/2 - 2 cups)
1/3 cup garlic scapes (3 to 4), chopped
2 tbsp. lemon juice, to taste
1/2 tsp. sea salt, to taste
black pepper, to taste
1 can (15 oz.) cannellini beans, rinsed and drained
1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil
1. In a food processor, process garlic scapes with lemon juice, salt and pepper until finely chopped. Add cannellini beans and process to a rough purée.
2. With motor running, slowly drizzle olive oil through feed tube and process until fairly smooth. Pulse in 2 or 3 tablespoons of water, or more, until mixture is the consistency of a dip. Add more salt, pepper and/or lemon juice, if desired.
3. Spread out dip on a plate, drizzle with olive oil, and sprinkle with more salt.
By Jeanne Foels, Marketing & Outreach Coordinator
Last week at Open Farms, our garden in Belle Plaine, volunteers harvested bunches of garlic scapes, a special June visitor that mystifies CSA shareholders and delights garlic lovers. What are these curly green tendrils appearing on farmers market tables?
Garlic, like leeks and onions and the rest of its relatives in the allium family, grows underground. Farmers plant cloves in the soil during the fall, right after the first major frost, and cover them with mulch. In the springtime, bright green shoots poke up from the hardening bulb -- the garlic scapes! These shoots draw energy away from the bulb, so farmers trim the scapes, which then become an early summer treat for cooks in the know.
Scapes definitely taste garlic-y, but their flavor is much smoother and lighter than full-strength cloves. You can add garlic scapes to stir frys, throw them in egg scrambles, or whiz them into garlic scape pesto. This recipe combines them with white beans to make a simple, creamy dip. Pair it with chips, carrots or celery sticks for your next summer picnic.
White Bean & Garlic Scapes Dip
Adapted from NYTimes.com
(Makes 1 1/2 - 2 cups)
1/3 cup garlic scapes (3 to 4), chopped
2 tbsp. lemon juice, to taste
1/2 tsp. sea salt, to taste
black pepper, to taste
1 can (15 oz.) cannellini beans, rinsed and drained
1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil
1. In a food processor, process garlic scapes with lemon juice, salt and pepper until finely chopped. Add cannellini beans and process to a rough purée.
2. With motor running, slowly drizzle olive oil through feed tube and process until fairly smooth. Pulse in 2 or 3 tablespoons of water, or more, until mixture is the consistency of a dip. Add more salt, pepper and/or lemon juice, if desired.
3. Spread out dip on a plate, drizzle with olive oil, and sprinkle with more salt.
Weekly Recipe #71: Shaved Radish Sandwiches with Herb Butter
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You may not think of radishes as capable of playing a starring role in a sandwich, but with a fabulous DIY herb butter in the supporting role, those little red root veggies deliver a memorable performance in this summer sandwich.
Shaved Radish Sandwiches with Herb Butter
Adapted from Bon Appétit
(Makes 16 servings)
1/2 cup (1 stick) room-temperature salted butter
5 anchovy fillets, mashed and drained
1 small garlic clove, grated
3 tbsp. fresh chives, finely chopped
3 tbsp. fresh tarragon
2 tbsp. fresh lemon juice
1 tsp. finely grated lemon zest
sea salt
freshly ground black pepper
32 slices of baguette, diagonally cut 1/8" thick
12 radishes, very thinly sliced
16 arugula leaves
Herb Butter:
1. Mix butter, anchovy fillets, garlic clove, chives, tarragon, lemon juice, and lemon zest in a small bowl. Season with sea salt and black pepper.
Sandwiches:
1. Spread herb butter generously on one side of each of the 32 baguette slices.
2. Toss radishes with salt and pepper in a medium bowl.
3. Top half of bread slices with radish slices and arugula. Top with remaining bread slices, butter side down.
Shaved Radish Sandwiches with Herb Butter
Adapted from Bon Appétit
(Makes 16 servings)
1/2 cup (1 stick) room-temperature salted butter
5 anchovy fillets, mashed and drained
1 small garlic clove, grated
3 tbsp. fresh chives, finely chopped
3 tbsp. fresh tarragon
2 tbsp. fresh lemon juice
1 tsp. finely grated lemon zest
sea salt
freshly ground black pepper
32 slices of baguette, diagonally cut 1/8" thick
12 radishes, very thinly sliced
16 arugula leaves
Herb Butter:
1. Mix butter, anchovy fillets, garlic clove, chives, tarragon, lemon juice, and lemon zest in a small bowl. Season with sea salt and black pepper.
Sandwiches:
1. Spread herb butter generously on one side of each of the 32 baguette slices.
2. Toss radishes with salt and pepper in a medium bowl.
3. Top half of bread slices with radish slices and arugula. Top with remaining bread slices, butter side down.
25 Haziran 2012 Pazartesi
Chocolate Chip Cookies in a Jar
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Whenever my cousin, Allison, comes to visit she always has a gift for Layla. So when I found out we were going to New York City, I knew I had to find something for her! It made me think that she might not bake very much and she probably spends too much money on baked goods so I wanted to make her cookies in a jar!
Ingredients
Step 1:
Fill the ingredients (in a quart size can) starting at the top of my list of ingredients and continue filling it. I made a piece of paper into a funnel to help put the ingredients into the jar.
Step 2:
Once you reach the brown sugar, use a spoon to pack it down .
Step 3:
Use a hot glue gun to decorate the lid with a piece of extra fabric and a ribbon. Then use my recipe tag to include the steps as to complete the cookies.
Whenever my cousin, Allison, comes to visit she always has a gift for Layla. So when I found out we were going to New York City, I knew I had to find something for her! It made me think that she might not bake very much and she probably spends too much money on baked goods so I wanted to make her cookies in a jar!
Ingredients- 2 cups flour
- 1 tsp salt
- 1 tsp baking soda
- 3/4 up brown sugar
- 3/4 cup white sugar
- chocolate chips
Step 1:Fill the ingredients (in a quart size can) starting at the top of my list of ingredients and continue filling it. I made a piece of paper into a funnel to help put the ingredients into the jar.
Step 2:
Once you reach the brown sugar, use a spoon to pack it down .
Step 3:
Use a hot glue gun to decorate the lid with a piece of extra fabric and a ribbon. Then use my recipe tag to include the steps as to complete the cookies.
What a Stay At Home Mom Does Daily!
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Some of my friends always wonder why I don't answer their phone calls, or emails, or texts as I used to pre-Layla. I decided to break it down and share what I do daily so maybe they will cut me a break :) (this is a REAL day on 4-12-2012)
6:15am Layla decides to wake up. I wasn't quite ready to get up considering I stayed awake til 10:30 last night working on the internet. I try and ignore her crying for a little bit hoping she will fall back asleep.
6:45am She figures out how to unplug the baby monitor so my end has a high pitch noise. Now I had to get up and take her from her crib. I take her back into bed with me still hoping she will cuddle with me and give me another hour of sleep. She does the sign for "milk" so I start to feed her while still half asleep. When she is done, she sits up and starts to crawl
around on the bed. I don't want her to fall off again, so I instantly sit up and bring her closer. The cats are meowing from outside my door hoping to get fed soon. I pull out my phone to see if I have any messages, then Layla snatches it from my hands. I'm a little too tired to argue, so I let it slide just this once. I start to think about everything I have to do today, then Layla throws up all over me. Now I have to add shower and laundry to my list. The two most difficult things to do while its just us two. (Mike is out of town)
The first thing to clean up is Layla. If I wait she will have her throw up spread all over everything around her. And maybe some flung on the wall. I pick her up but hold her far away from my body (I don't want to get more on my clothes, or better yet... squished onto me) I carry her to her room and plop her down onto her changing table. I take my shirt off while changing her. So I'm now standing topless in her bedroom, wrestling with my daughter to keep her still. The cats are still meowing, now louder, and rubbing on my legs. I still have to feed them. My phone rings. I ignore it. Layla instantly wants to turn over, does a back-bend, squirms like I am torturing her. I must get these clothes off her. And the smell of them on my shirts is starting to make me sick. As I'm changing her I realize I only have two diapers left. How did I get so low? I have to plan a trip to the store. ASAP Then as I reach over to the Diaper Genie, the bag is full and the top won't close. I have to take out trash too. I check her temperature while I'm thinking of it, and while her diaper is still off. 101.9. great. Now I have to call the doctor again because this fever has been here for the past few days. I haven't had time to check the weather today so I put a pair of jeans and t shirt on her, then set her down by her toys so I can assess my situation of clothing.
The cats are still meowing in my ear, I smell like puke, trash needs to go out, I need to shower, the bedding needs to come off the bed, breakfast needs to start getting made (before Layla has a melt down), laundry needs to get started, call the doctor, get to the store for diapers... and I still need to pee, put on clothes and brush my teeth. Oh my gosh, it's only 7:45.
8:00am I am starting to get a headache and can't decide if it's coming from the cats meowing or my puke covered pajamas. I quickly feed the cats. Run to the bathroom to relieve my bladder. I can still hear Layla pushing the toys that make noises so I know she's okay. Then I go to my bedroom and finally put on a shirt then change my pants. (I can't shower til after breakfast because Layla will have a breakdown if she doesn't get food and has to be trapped in the bathroom with me.) I still hear her toys, so I know I have time to brush my teeth, and put in my contacts. Thank goodness. But, now I remember I have to call my eye doctor because my glasses are wrong. I have been putting this off for months now, but just haven't found a minute (and hopefully you'll figure out why after reading this... are you still reading?... hello??)
8:20 am Breakfast time! I pick up Layla, she has a toy in each hand and one sticking out from her mouth. I put her in her high chair and strap her in. The tray still has her bib and leftovers from dinner last night. I take it over to the sink. She starts to get excited about food and throws her toys on the floor and tries reaching for the banana. I quickly get the tray cleaned and click it on her chair. She starts banging on it, then gets fussy when I walk away to grab a knife and a clean bib. I'm not sure why she thinks I've forgotten about breakfast. The bib is on and the banana is starting to get cut. She eats it almost as fast as I'm cutting it. I give her the sippy cup and walk away again to see what else I have for her to eat..... oh and for myself to eat. No eggs, add it to the list. I guess she will have to do with oatmeal. I wanted to make an egg because she can feed herself while I make something for me. I start to make her oatmeal as I notice she is almost done with her banana, so I move a little faster. Throw it in the microwave and go to get myself cereal. I start feeding her and in between bites try and get two or three for myself. Her sippy cup has grape juice in it and she dribbled some down her chin so now its on the bib and starting to get onto her clean outfit. NO! I run to get a paper towel only to step on her toys... dang it! Why didn't I pick those up??
9:00 is rolling around. My morning shows are finally here! I clean up from breakfast... the tray, her face, the floor, her bib, her shirt, the dishes... oh no the dishwasher has to be emptied and re-loaded... maybe later. I put her back by her toys and sit down on the couch to watch Live! with Kelly and the Nate Berkus show. I turn on the keurig to get a cup of tea only to have to fill it with water and then wait. Oh well, this is what I look forward to. Half way into my show I realize I haven't made my tea yet. Dang. Layla is starting to get restless. She keeps crawling into the living room and pulling all my papers off the coffee table... I guess I should clean up so Layla won't get anything in her mouth.
9:30am Layla just blew snots all over my pants. Now I need to shower. I guess I have to miss the remainder of Live!with Kelly. I grab the Johnny-jumper and attach it to the bathroom doorway. Layla isn't too excited at first but she will warm up to it. My shower takes twice as long as it should because my constant "peek-a-boo"s take time. Her fussiness was overwhelming, so I'm hoping I don't smell anymore and jump out of the shower. I squeeze past her while she is hanging in the jumper and go to my room to throw on clothes. This is the only time I will have to put on clothes today, so although it is 10:15 I need to get ready for the day. My hair is still wet but Layla now has a dirty, stinky diaper. I have to get to the store because now I don't have any backup diapers!
10:30am I put Layla in her crib for a few minutes so I can get a diaper bag ready to hit the road. She is screaming and in desperate need of a nap but I know once we get into the car she will be asleep. My hair is still wet and I quickly throw on mascara. As I put her in her car seat she arches her back so it makes it difficult for me to buckle her in. Once again, I am wrestling her. I grab the diaper bag, grab my sunglasses and slip on my shoes. As I'm walking out of my building, I remember that my keys are still in the condo. I set everything down by the stairs and sprint back inside. (Luckily, I kept the door unlocked!) Get everything into the car and on we go.
10:45am We are heading to the Dollar Store and Target. Layla is asleep within seconds, but this doesn't stop me from jamming to my music. I should check my phone for the missed call, but I finally have ME time, and the phone is the last thing I want to do.
11:05 We finally make it to the Dollar Store. Layla is still asleep, so I take her entire car seat and my diaper bag out of the car. I know exactly what I need to get, so I quickly walk down the aisles and get to the check out counter. Layla is waking up and realizes we are somewhere new, so she starts to get curious. The check out counter now have merchandise scattered on the counter from Layla trying to get everything. "I'm very sorry Mr. Clerkman... rough day". He assures me it's okay and sends me on my way.
11:30 heading to Target. Now I have to get diapers, toilet paper, cat litter and eggs.... can't forget those. Layla is still awake when we get there so I can easily take her out of the car seat and place her into the carriage. This makes it so much easier! I browse the aisles for about 20 minutes then the meltdown begins. Crap its lunch time. I'm 20 minutes away from home and don't have anything for her here. I get to the check out counter at noon only to find 5 extra things in my cart from when I turned my back to Layla. Once again I apologize to the clerk and head to the car.
12:05 the car is packed and I'm still thinking of my list of things to do today. Laundry, trash, dishes, lunch, catbox, call the doctor... Layla is asleep. Great, her meltdown in the store was embarrassing and she is already asleep before I get out of the parking lot. I turn on more loud music and not think about anything on my 20 minute drive home but some Alicia Keys.
12:30 I get home with a packed car and a sleeping baby. Luckily, my neighbor sees me and comes out to help. Thank you Kevin! Between the diaper box, the cat litter, other Target bags and the car seat it would have taken me at least 3 trips. My neighbor then reminds me that I forgot to clean his house last week. Oops. I could do it RIGHT NOW, while Layla is sleeping. Cleaning is my outlet. It takes me somewhere else. I love it.
12:45pm I started cleaning his apartment when suddenly Layla wakes up as if she is starving. Her cry is too much so I run downstairs and grab her food. She is still in her car seat as I feed her.
1:00pm I finish cleaning Kevin's and head back downstairs. I forgot about all the Target bags hanging around. Layla is fed but what about my lunch? Maybe later. I start unpacking when I hear Layla make a heavy diaper. I had to unpack the diapers so I could get a clean one to put on her. The diaper genie is still full and now starting to smell. Trash. Dang. I will take it out as soon as I'm done unloading the bags.
1:30pm Layla is occupied by her toys. I finally have a minute to sit down. She is crawling over to me and pulling everything out of the diaper bag.... everything off of the coffee table. She is un-doing everything I had actually done today. Story of my life... I get up and continue with the shopping merchandise. "Cat litter... I have to do the box... THEN I can take out the trash." I'm not in the mood considering one cat had just finished doing his business.
2:30pm Now my friend, Ashley texts me that she would like to Skype. I haven't talked to her in a while, so I would hate to miss the opportunity. I talked to her for about a half hour... Layla's now crying. What is it now? She needs a nap. I had to let Ashley go although I was enjoying our conversation. Adult interaction.
3:30pm Layla is still crying so I feed her and put her in her crib because I'm sure she needs a nap. She cried for a little while but finally laid her head down. ZZZzzZZzzz..... Time to finish the shopping bags, cat box, trash, laundry. Oh my gosh, considering I haven't used the restroom since this morning, I should go while I have a few minutes.
3:40pm I have some time to get things done. Start laundry, do the dishes, take out the trash, sweep the floor.... Once Layla wakes up she will be hungry so dinner needs to be thought about. I pull out chicken pot pies and prep the oven.
5:00pm Layla finally wakes up... starving. First I to tend to her smelly diaper as she is still crying. Her gymnastics back bends and flexibility is taking effect as I place her on her changing pad. My oven is beeping to say that it is ready for me to take the food out. I opt to leaving her pants off and put her into her highchair then run to the oven to take the food out.... not burnt! PHEW! I put her pot pie in the freezer so it speeds up the process of cooling it off.
5:25pm Layla is ready to eat and I've made her wait long enough. I cut up part of the dinner and put it on her tray. She starts to devour it so I realize I need to move a little faster. I remembered that the laundry should be ready to be switched and if I don't promptly change it, people in my building leave my wet clothes on the machines which eerks me. So, I called my neighbor to see if he could keep an eye on Layla while I run down to the laundry room. Perfect.
6:00pm I need to fold my laundry, finish eating dinner, finish feeding Layla, get ready for Zumba and get out the door in 45 minutes... can I do it??
6:45pm I am walking out the door. Success! I get Layla into the car as she is in a "food coma" :) I drive to the Recreation center and unload Layla and get inside. Wrong place
6:55pm The man at the counter gave me directions to another recreation center so I ran to the car with Layla and the diaper bag. Finally I pull up to the building and run inside. Wrong place.
7:10pm I drive to the last place that I would drive to and run inside ten minutes late. Finally I get to get my Zumba on! I unhook Layla and let her crawl around the dance studio. All my Zumba friends loved how friendly she was. She smiled, bounced and clapped her hands to the music.
8:15pm Layla is starting to have a meltdown as I get her into the carseat and into the car. It's bedtime for her but I'm a little behind schedule. As I start to drive home, I realize Mike had called me twice and left me a voicemail. I try calling him back only to realize my phone is now not working. Great.
8:30pm I haul everything into the house as I am physically and mentally exhausted from my day. Layla is ready for her bedtime routine but I need to let Mike know that I'm okay before he starts to worry about his two girls! I get onto Facebook and send him a message as I grab the laptop and put it into the bathroom. I get Layla undressed and bring her into the bathroom. The water if turned on low to heat up the tub... then I realize my leg is starting to warm up. I'm guessing the sound of the water made Layla relieve her bladder. Awesome. I put her into the tub and take off my pants. Now I'm giving her a bath pantless.... awesome.
8:45pm Layla gets her pajamas on, her hair brushed and now I'm reading her books. Luckily, you can not see my bare legs from the windows. She signals for "milk" so I feed her and put her in the crib. Good night sweetie.
9:00pm I am jumping into the shower. Two in one day? Unheard of! As I reach for a towel, I realize they are all in the clean laundry... in the living room. Awesome. Layla has her small towels on the top shelf so I grab one and it fits on one half of my body. After I change into my pajamas, my bed seems so far away.
9:15pm I pull the sheets from the middle of the clean laundry hamper and put it on the bed. The rest of the laundry will get folded tomorrow.
9:30pm Time to write my blog, check facebook, look at pinterest and go to bed.... with a glass of wine! So when a mom says she is have a "well deserved glass of wine"... you will understand how WELL DESERVED it is!
11:15pm Good Night!
Some of my friends always wonder why I don't answer their phone calls, or emails, or texts as I used to pre-Layla. I decided to break it down and share what I do daily so maybe they will cut me a break :) (this is a REAL day on 4-12-2012)6:15am Layla decides to wake up. I wasn't quite ready to get up considering I stayed awake til 10:30 last night working on the internet. I try and ignore her crying for a little bit hoping she will fall back asleep.
6:45am She figures out how to unplug the baby monitor so my end has a high pitch noise. Now I had to get up and take her from her crib. I take her back into bed with me still hoping she will cuddle with me and give me another hour of sleep. She does the sign for "milk" so I start to feed her while still half asleep. When she is done, she sits up and starts to crawl
around on the bed. I don't want her to fall off again, so I instantly sit up and bring her closer. The cats are meowing from outside my door hoping to get fed soon. I pull out my phone to see if I have any messages, then Layla snatches it from my hands. I'm a little too tired to argue, so I let it slide just this once. I start to think about everything I have to do today, then Layla throws up all over me. Now I have to add shower and laundry to my list. The two most difficult things to do while its just us two. (Mike is out of town)
The first thing to clean up is Layla. If I wait she will have her throw up spread all over everything around her. And maybe some flung on the wall. I pick her up but hold her far away from my body (I don't want to get more on my clothes, or better yet... squished onto me) I carry her to her room and plop her down onto her changing table. I take my shirt off while changing her. So I'm now standing topless in her bedroom, wrestling with my daughter to keep her still. The cats are still meowing, now louder, and rubbing on my legs. I still have to feed them. My phone rings. I ignore it. Layla instantly wants to turn over, does a back-bend, squirms like I am torturing her. I must get these clothes off her. And the smell of them on my shirts is starting to make me sick. As I'm changing her I realize I only have two diapers left. How did I get so low? I have to plan a trip to the store. ASAP Then as I reach over to the Diaper Genie, the bag is full and the top won't close. I have to take out trash too. I check her temperature while I'm thinking of it, and while her diaper is still off. 101.9. great. Now I have to call the doctor again because this fever has been here for the past few days. I haven't had time to check the weather today so I put a pair of jeans and t shirt on her, then set her down by her toys so I can assess my situation of clothing.
The cats are still meowing in my ear, I smell like puke, trash needs to go out, I need to shower, the bedding needs to come off the bed, breakfast needs to start getting made (before Layla has a melt down), laundry needs to get started, call the doctor, get to the store for diapers... and I still need to pee, put on clothes and brush my teeth. Oh my gosh, it's only 7:45.
8:00am I am starting to get a headache and can't decide if it's coming from the cats meowing or my puke covered pajamas. I quickly feed the cats. Run to the bathroom to relieve my bladder. I can still hear Layla pushing the toys that make noises so I know she's okay. Then I go to my bedroom and finally put on a shirt then change my pants. (I can't shower til after breakfast because Layla will have a breakdown if she doesn't get food and has to be trapped in the bathroom with me.) I still hear her toys, so I know I have time to brush my teeth, and put in my contacts. Thank goodness. But, now I remember I have to call my eye doctor because my glasses are wrong. I have been putting this off for months now, but just haven't found a minute (and hopefully you'll figure out why after reading this... are you still reading?... hello??)
8:20 am Breakfast time! I pick up Layla, she has a toy in each hand and one sticking out from her mouth. I put her in her high chair and strap her in. The tray still has her bib and leftovers from dinner last night. I take it over to the sink. She starts to get excited about food and throws her toys on the floor and tries reaching for the banana. I quickly get the tray cleaned and click it on her chair. She starts banging on it, then gets fussy when I walk away to grab a knife and a clean bib. I'm not sure why she thinks I've forgotten about breakfast. The bib is on and the banana is starting to get cut. She eats it almost as fast as I'm cutting it. I give her the sippy cup and walk away again to see what else I have for her to eat..... oh and for myself to eat. No eggs, add it to the list. I guess she will have to do with oatmeal. I wanted to make an egg because she can feed herself while I make something for me. I start to make her oatmeal as I notice she is almost done with her banana, so I move a little faster. Throw it in the microwave and go to get myself cereal. I start feeding her and in between bites try and get two or three for myself. Her sippy cup has grape juice in it and she dribbled some down her chin so now its on the bib and starting to get onto her clean outfit. NO! I run to get a paper towel only to step on her toys... dang it! Why didn't I pick those up??9:00 is rolling around. My morning shows are finally here! I clean up from breakfast... the tray, her face, the floor, her bib, her shirt, the dishes... oh no the dishwasher has to be emptied and re-loaded... maybe later. I put her back by her toys and sit down on the couch to watch Live! with Kelly and the Nate Berkus show. I turn on the keurig to get a cup of tea only to have to fill it with water and then wait. Oh well, this is what I look forward to. Half way into my show I realize I haven't made my tea yet. Dang. Layla is starting to get restless. She keeps crawling into the living room and pulling all my papers off the coffee table... I guess I should clean up so Layla won't get anything in her mouth. 9:30am Layla just blew snots all over my pants. Now I need to shower. I guess I have to miss the remainder of Live!with Kelly. I grab the Johnny-jumper and attach it to the bathroom doorway. Layla isn't too excited at first but she will warm up to it. My shower takes twice as long as it should because my constant "peek-a-boo"s take time. Her fussiness was overwhelming, so I'm hoping I don't smell anymore and jump out of the shower. I squeeze past her while she is hanging in the jumper and go to my room to throw on clothes. This is the only time I will have to put on clothes today, so although it is 10:15 I need to get ready for the day. My hair is still wet but Layla now has a dirty, stinky diaper. I have to get to the store because now I don't have any backup diapers!10:30am I put Layla in her crib for a few minutes so I can get a diaper bag ready to hit the road. She is screaming and in desperate need of a nap but I know once we get into the car she will be asleep. My hair is still wet and I quickly throw on mascara. As I put her in her car seat she arches her back so it makes it difficult for me to buckle her in. Once again, I am wrestling her. I grab the diaper bag, grab my sunglasses and slip on my shoes. As I'm walking out of my building, I remember that my keys are still in the condo. I set everything down by the stairs and sprint back inside. (Luckily, I kept the door unlocked!) Get everything into the car and on we go.
10:45am We are heading to the Dollar Store and Target. Layla is asleep within seconds, but this doesn't stop me from jamming to my music. I should check my phone for the missed call, but I finally have ME time, and the phone is the last thing I want to do.
11:05 We finally make it to the Dollar Store. Layla is still asleep, so I take her entire car seat and my diaper bag out of the car. I know exactly what I need to get, so I quickly walk down the aisles and get to the check out counter. Layla is waking up and realizes we are somewhere new, so she starts to get curious. The check out counter now have merchandise scattered on the counter from Layla trying to get everything. "I'm very sorry Mr. Clerkman... rough day". He assures me it's okay and sends me on my way.
11:30 heading to Target. Now I have to get diapers, toilet paper, cat litter and eggs.... can't forget those. Layla is still awake when we get there so I can easily take her out of the car seat and place her into the carriage. This makes it so much easier! I browse the aisles for about 20 minutes then the meltdown begins. Crap its lunch time. I'm 20 minutes away from home and don't have anything for her here. I get to the check out counter at noon only to find 5 extra things in my cart from when I turned my back to Layla. Once again I apologize to the clerk and head to the car.
12:05 the car is packed and I'm still thinking of my list of things to do today. Laundry, trash, dishes, lunch, catbox, call the doctor... Layla is asleep. Great, her meltdown in the store was embarrassing and she is already asleep before I get out of the parking lot. I turn on more loud music and not think about anything on my 20 minute drive home but some Alicia Keys.
12:30 I get home with a packed car and a sleeping baby. Luckily, my neighbor sees me and comes out to help. Thank you Kevin! Between the diaper box, the cat litter, other Target bags and the car seat it would have taken me at least 3 trips. My neighbor then reminds me that I forgot to clean his house last week. Oops. I could do it RIGHT NOW, while Layla is sleeping. Cleaning is my outlet. It takes me somewhere else. I love it.
12:45pm I started cleaning his apartment when suddenly Layla wakes up as if she is starving. Her cry is too much so I run downstairs and grab her food. She is still in her car seat as I feed her.1:00pm I finish cleaning Kevin's and head back downstairs. I forgot about all the Target bags hanging around. Layla is fed but what about my lunch? Maybe later. I start unpacking when I hear Layla make a heavy diaper. I had to unpack the diapers so I could get a clean one to put on her. The diaper genie is still full and now starting to smell. Trash. Dang. I will take it out as soon as I'm done unloading the bags.
1:30pm Layla is occupied by her toys. I finally have a minute to sit down. She is crawling over to me and pulling everything out of the diaper bag.... everything off of the coffee table. She is un-doing everything I had actually done today. Story of my life... I get up and continue with the shopping merchandise. "Cat litter... I have to do the box... THEN I can take out the trash." I'm not in the mood considering one cat had just finished doing his business.
2:30pm Now my friend, Ashley texts me that she would like to Skype. I haven't talked to her in a while, so I would hate to miss the opportunity. I talked to her for about a half hour... Layla's now crying. What is it now? She needs a nap. I had to let Ashley go although I was enjoying our conversation. Adult interaction.
3:30pm Layla is still crying so I feed her and put her in her crib because I'm sure she needs a nap. She cried for a little while but finally laid her head down. ZZZzzZZzzz..... Time to finish the shopping bags, cat box, trash, laundry. Oh my gosh, considering I haven't used the restroom since this morning, I should go while I have a few minutes.
3:40pm I have some time to get things done. Start laundry, do the dishes, take out the trash, sweep the floor.... Once Layla wakes up she will be hungry so dinner needs to be thought about. I pull out chicken pot pies and prep the oven.
5:00pm Layla finally wakes up... starving. First I to tend to her smelly diaper as she is still crying. Her gymnastics back bends and flexibility is taking effect as I place her on her changing pad. My oven is beeping to say that it is ready for me to take the food out. I opt to leaving her pants off and put her into her highchair then run to the oven to take the food out.... not burnt! PHEW! I put her pot pie in the freezer so it speeds up the process of cooling it off.
5:25pm Layla is ready to eat and I've made her wait long enough. I cut up part of the dinner and put it on her tray. She starts to devour it so I realize I need to move a little faster. I remembered that the laundry should be ready to be switched and if I don't promptly change it, people in my building leave my wet clothes on the machines which eerks me. So, I called my neighbor to see if he could keep an eye on Layla while I run down to the laundry room. Perfect.
6:00pm I need to fold my laundry, finish eating dinner, finish feeding Layla, get ready for Zumba and get out the door in 45 minutes... can I do it??
6:45pm I am walking out the door. Success! I get Layla into the car as she is in a "food coma" :) I drive to the Recreation center and unload Layla and get inside. Wrong place6:55pm The man at the counter gave me directions to another recreation center so I ran to the car with Layla and the diaper bag. Finally I pull up to the building and run inside. Wrong place.
7:10pm I drive to the last place that I would drive to and run inside ten minutes late. Finally I get to get my Zumba on! I unhook Layla and let her crawl around the dance studio. All my Zumba friends loved how friendly she was. She smiled, bounced and clapped her hands to the music.
8:15pm Layla is starting to have a meltdown as I get her into the carseat and into the car. It's bedtime for her but I'm a little behind schedule. As I start to drive home, I realize Mike had called me twice and left me a voicemail. I try calling him back only to realize my phone is now not working. Great.
8:30pm I haul everything into the house as I am physically and mentally exhausted from my day. Layla is ready for her bedtime routine but I need to let Mike know that I'm okay before he starts to worry about his two girls! I get onto Facebook and send him a message as I grab the laptop and put it into the bathroom. I get Layla undressed and bring her into the bathroom. The water if turned on low to heat up the tub... then I realize my leg is starting to warm up. I'm guessing the sound of the water made Layla relieve her bladder. Awesome. I put her into the tub and take off my pants. Now I'm giving her a bath pantless.... awesome.
8:45pm Layla gets her pajamas on, her hair brushed and now I'm reading her books. Luckily, you can not see my bare legs from the windows. She signals for "milk" so I feed her and put her in the crib. Good night sweetie.
9:00pm I am jumping into the shower. Two in one day? Unheard of! As I reach for a towel, I realize they are all in the clean laundry... in the living room. Awesome. Layla has her small towels on the top shelf so I grab one and it fits on one half of my body. After I change into my pajamas, my bed seems so far away.
9:15pm I pull the sheets from the middle of the clean laundry hamper and put it on the bed. The rest of the laundry will get folded tomorrow.
9:30pm Time to write my blog, check facebook, look at pinterest and go to bed.... with a glass of wine! So when a mom says she is have a "well deserved glass of wine"... you will understand how WELL DESERVED it is!
11:15pm Good Night!
Quotes & Mantras that Get this Mother Through
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Dear Diary, They say good stress can be just as tough on the body andmind as bad stress. In the past 2months, I have had my share of it. I resigned from a job I love, started somenew work, 3 funerals, 5 birthday parties, 2 new babies born, a baby shower (60people) and a big NSA Event (150 people) and more! A few of these events, I was involved in as aninnocent bystander but for the majority of them I played a leading role. Why? Because I am the “oldest” and apparentlyI will never outgrow that title. I grewup in that role and I love be in charge. The more sincere reason that I am involved is that I love family and “Thetime we spend together makes a difference.”- (recent quote by my husband Freddy) So, I have a lot of things I want to blogabout… just haven’t had the time. Below I list these events (for my ownentertainment and as recorded evidence) and then we will get to the good stuff!
Feb 13th- Resigned from my position at theNational Stuttering Association (an organization I love!) Feb 18th - Mea & Eva’s Birthday PartyFeb 18th - New niece Cora was bornFeb 20th - Signed up as a Thirty-One ConsultantFeb 27th - Kat and Layla came to visit fromBoston (for a few weeks)
Mar 4th- our 6th wedding anniversaryA few other “private” family events took placeMar 6th- Parent meeting for Mea’s kindergarten Mar 10th- Worked our mom to mom sale- (Kat and I)Mar 12th- Vince Andrew (my new nephew) was born (Vincewas in ICU for 5 days)Mar 14th – my first Thirty- One party (at Teri’s)Mar 17th- Ricky’s 1st BirthdayMar 18th – Kat’s Thirty-One Party (my 2ndone)Mar 23rd- Funeral – Billy Ray’s Dad diedMar 27th- Funeral- An old high school friend diedunexpectedly leaving his wife and 2 kidsApr 7th- Baby Shower (lead the planning team)Apr 7th- Lexa’s Birthday partyApril 7th “Spring Fling” argument with husband (that's what he called it)…wonder why we argued? Maybe all this “good and bad” stress?!... maybe cause we were duefor a fight, maybe because we should slow down a tad or maybe we just wanted tomake up.Apr 8th- EasterApr 11th - My uncle Vinny died (56 years old)unexpectedlyApr 14th – NSA Family Fun Day (I lead theplanning team)Apr 15th- Mom’s Thirty-One Party (my 3rd)Apr 20th - GOING ON A WEEKEND VACATION TO CHICAGOWITH MY HUSBAND!!!!! To celebrate my coming birthday… and life and love andfamily!
(Look forward to posts about some of these things that happened :)
Now that is a heck of a list... for 2 months. But as I mentioned, I have some mantras thatplay in my mind. These are some of the thingsI have heard keep me afloat. Thesequotes are all by people who are famous in my book!
This quote reminds me that having things “perfect” is notusually achievable or even worth the effort/anxiety. For all the these events, I have so manyideas of what I’d like to bring, or cook, or make or get as a gift, or aspecial touch I want to on this or that. Frankly, there are not enough hours in the day! So my friend Amy told methat she used to obsess over things running according to plan until sherealized that with 3 kids that it’s just not how it is gonna be. Moreover, it’sjust not how it’s meant to be or how it should be. Good enough is perfect!
My sister in law is now a mother of 2. Just like most of us,coming into the role of motherhood has forced her to change. We become a motherand is anything the same anymore?! We change our bodies, our schedules, wechange our cars to a minivans, and we change our clothes to shirts with easy accessto the boob and we especially our minds. We have a new way of thinking, altering our attitude and changing ourrelationships with the world. Pre-baby, Mariawas a “super planner”- very goal oriented and straight forward on her path tothat goal. When she was pregnant withher first, she had a plan for almost everything that would happen duringpregnancy, labor, birth, into the first year (work-wise, daycare-wise) until hewould be 5 years old, or maybe even 18. Her plan was circumvented when she realized that you just can’t plan asmuch with kids. You just never know whatthe world will throw at you and how your child will react. The 2 quotes above, she and I share witheachother when we need the reminder! Thesesayings goes for times of trouble (so that you know it can’t last forever) butit also applies to the good times (you know it can’t last forever). We need torelish the moments as they pass by.
My best friend becamea mom a couple years before I did and when I first had Mea, I looked into hereyes with a whole new respect. I knew Iloved her before but I had no idea what she had gone through (in pregnancy,labor and being a first time mother) and all… without me? I wondered if I was agood friend during that time. Could I have been a friend if I didn’t understandthe magnitude of it all? As things cameup and I went to her to vent or for advice, it was almost always the sameanswer…. “Do what you can do. One day at a time. Whatever works for you.” She knew that I was usually just putting toomuch pressure on myself to live up to some standards. Most importantly, she is the best listener Iknow. Even now with 5 kids runningaround us, she can still sit still and listen. She cocks her head to the side concerninglyand asks just the right questions. At the end, her advice is always simple andeasy. I just love her.
A few other pieces of advice for busy times...
Some of the more stressful things were unavoidable orunexpected. I want to say thateverything has come to a head and I feel calmness about the weeks ahead… BUT Iam sure that we will fill up that schedule quickly. When I commit, I fulfill-which is why they say, “If you want something done, ask a busy person.” (SOTRUE) My goal is to take it a notch downand be careful what commitments I make for the months ahead.
Dear Diary, They say good stress can be just as tough on the body andmind as bad stress. In the past 2months, I have had my share of it. I resigned from a job I love, started somenew work, 3 funerals, 5 birthday parties, 2 new babies born, a baby shower (60people) and a big NSA Event (150 people) and more! A few of these events, I was involved in as aninnocent bystander but for the majority of them I played a leading role. Why? Because I am the “oldest” and apparentlyI will never outgrow that title. I grewup in that role and I love be in charge. The more sincere reason that I am involved is that I love family and “Thetime we spend together makes a difference.”- (recent quote by my husband Freddy) So, I have a lot of things I want to blogabout… just haven’t had the time. Below I list these events (for my ownentertainment and as recorded evidence) and then we will get to the good stuff! Feb 13th- Resigned from my position at theNational Stuttering Association (an organization I love!) Feb 18th - Mea & Eva’s Birthday PartyFeb 18th - New niece Cora was bornFeb 20th - Signed up as a Thirty-One ConsultantFeb 27th - Kat and Layla came to visit fromBoston (for a few weeks)
Mar 4th- our 6th wedding anniversaryA few other “private” family events took placeMar 6th- Parent meeting for Mea’s kindergarten Mar 10th- Worked our mom to mom sale- (Kat and I)Mar 12th- Vince Andrew (my new nephew) was born (Vincewas in ICU for 5 days)Mar 14th – my first Thirty- One party (at Teri’s)Mar 17th- Ricky’s 1st BirthdayMar 18th – Kat’s Thirty-One Party (my 2ndone)Mar 23rd- Funeral – Billy Ray’s Dad diedMar 27th- Funeral- An old high school friend diedunexpectedly leaving his wife and 2 kidsApr 7th- Baby Shower (lead the planning team)Apr 7th- Lexa’s Birthday partyApril 7th “Spring Fling” argument with husband (that's what he called it)…wonder why we argued? Maybe all this “good and bad” stress?!... maybe cause we were duefor a fight, maybe because we should slow down a tad or maybe we just wanted tomake up.Apr 8th- EasterApr 11th - My uncle Vinny died (56 years old)unexpectedlyApr 14th – NSA Family Fun Day (I lead theplanning team)Apr 15th- Mom’s Thirty-One Party (my 3rd)Apr 20th - GOING ON A WEEKEND VACATION TO CHICAGOWITH MY HUSBAND!!!!! To celebrate my coming birthday… and life and love andfamily!(Look forward to posts about some of these things that happened :)
Now that is a heck of a list... for 2 months. But as I mentioned, I have some mantras thatplay in my mind. These are some of the thingsI have heard keep me afloat. Thesequotes are all by people who are famous in my book! “Busy, busy, busy… just like I like it and I’d have it no otherway.” –me, Sarah D’AgostinoI find myself saying this quite a bit… usually to explainwhy I am a little late in responding to an email or sending a thank you note orwhy my craft room is a bit unorganized. It is why I am wrapping the gift in the car as I pull up to the birthdayparty and why there are banana peels in my car door and peas under the kitchentable from a few nights ago. It isalmost like an apology but without complaining and I am really trying toembrace it all since all a choice that I have made.
“Pretend like you are hosting a party and you want everyoneto have a good time.” – my mom, Tess DowgialloMy mom gave me this advice when I got a job as a cocktailwaitress out of college at Second City Detroit. If you’ve ever been to a show, you know that it is a really great nightout and people are usually really excited to be there. At the Detroit theatre, we waitress peoplehad a few additional obstacles to overcome: it was dark, there were stairs, thetables were very small and hard to get around and we had to whisper during theshow. At the time I got the job, it wasa really big deal for me to take this position especially because I stuttered. I was so anxious about the question “Whatbeers do you have?” After one of my first nights on the floor, I was talking tomy mom about how stressful it was. She gave me this advice: “Pretend like youare having a party and everyone in your section is a guest. Just have a good time and try to makeeveryone else have a good time too.” Shifting my mindset for this cocktailingjob was so KEY! For me, this advice has moved beyond that job and is referencedon a more broad sense. It applieseveryday and everywhere I go… since Ifeel as though I am always at a party- and I might as well be a gracioushost! Thanks MOM! I passed that advicealong to quite a few people over the years.
“Good enough is goodenough.” - my friend, Amy Goward (pictured below)
This quote reminds me that having things “perfect” is notusually achievable or even worth the effort/anxiety. For all the these events, I have so manyideas of what I’d like to bring, or cook, or make or get as a gift, or aspecial touch I want to on this or that. Frankly, there are not enough hours in the day! So my friend Amy told methat she used to obsess over things running according to plan until sherealized that with 3 kids that it’s just not how it is gonna be. Moreover, it’sjust not how it’s meant to be or how it should be. Good enough is perfect!“Change is the only thing that is Constant.” – (not sure whosaid it, someone smart… and I quote it often!)
“This too shall pass.” –Bible (but often uttered by mysister in law, Maria Duppong)
My sister in law is now a mother of 2. Just like most of us,coming into the role of motherhood has forced her to change. We become a motherand is anything the same anymore?! We change our bodies, our schedules, wechange our cars to a minivans, and we change our clothes to shirts with easy accessto the boob and we especially our minds. We have a new way of thinking, altering our attitude and changing ourrelationships with the world. Pre-baby, Mariawas a “super planner”- very goal oriented and straight forward on her path tothat goal. When she was pregnant withher first, she had a plan for almost everything that would happen duringpregnancy, labor, birth, into the first year (work-wise, daycare-wise) until hewould be 5 years old, or maybe even 18. Her plan was circumvented when she realized that you just can’t plan asmuch with kids. You just never know whatthe world will throw at you and how your child will react. The 2 quotes above, she and I share witheachother when we need the reminder! Thesesayings goes for times of trouble (so that you know it can’t last forever) butit also applies to the good times (you know it can’t last forever). We need torelish the moments as they pass by. “Do what you can do. One day at a time. Whatever works foryou.” –my best friend, Kristen Tobias
My best friend becamea mom a couple years before I did and when I first had Mea, I looked into hereyes with a whole new respect. I knew Iloved her before but I had no idea what she had gone through (in pregnancy,labor and being a first time mother) and all… without me? I wondered if I was agood friend during that time. Could I have been a friend if I didn’t understandthe magnitude of it all? As things cameup and I went to her to vent or for advice, it was almost always the sameanswer…. “Do what you can do. One day at a time. Whatever works for you.” She knew that I was usually just putting toomuch pressure on myself to live up to some standards. Most importantly, she is the best listener Iknow. Even now with 5 kids runningaround us, she can still sit still and listen. She cocks her head to the side concerninglyand asks just the right questions. At the end, her advice is always simple andeasy. I just love her.A few other pieces of advice for busy times...
“Put it in the schedule and just focus on what’s next.”
“If your mind is racing (and you can’t sleep) write it downon paper to get it out of your head.”All of what has happened every the last 2 months came instride. The girls were with me everystep of the way- they are so resilient and social and I can attribute some ofthat to our busy schedule. Most of itwas a lot of it was FUN and quality time with family! Thank goodness for ourhealth! Let me say that again: THANK GOODNESS FOR OUR HEALTH!
Some of the more stressful things were unavoidable orunexpected. I want to say thateverything has come to a head and I feel calmness about the weeks ahead… BUT Iam sure that we will fill up that schedule quickly. When I commit, I fulfill-which is why they say, “If you want something done, ask a busy person.” (SOTRUE) My goal is to take it a notch downand be careful what commitments I make for the months ahead.
New Year's Resolutions in MAY?! Calorie Budget Report!
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Who talks about New Year’s Resolutions in May? We do. How youare you doing with yours? My 2 resolutionshad to do with BUDGETING… 1. My money 2. My calories to lose some weight. Today’s post will revisit the latter. I started to count calories (using myfitnesspal app) back inNovember. I’ve lost 12+ pounds and I amreally happy with how all my clothes fit. Moreso, I am happy about what I eat and how I feel. My “pals” who include girlfriends, sisters,mom, cousins, uncles, my husband and everyone else who asks us about it, can’tbelieve how it works! It is pure MATH…clear scientific evidence (calories in- calories out)! Counting calories works to lose weight! Everyonewho stuck with it religiously for 12 weeks has made significant healthy changes. Besides the inches lost, we have had some greatlaughs and created memories cheering each other on and competing atthings. It has been a fun game to playwith each other- for heaven’s sake, my husband special ordered me adidas shoeswith “muffintops” embroidered across the heel. A couple girls got into the “alpha dog”competition at the gym and they kicked BUTT! One of them is advancing to the nextround. I have enjoyed many “plank offs”at parties with these healthy buddies. My uncle who is 20- years older than me won the last round- darn it!
This post was inspired by 2 of my favorite “sisters”… we won’tuser real names just yet so we will call them… Mrs. Weet Weet and Mrs. GigglesMcGoo! They want to lose weight but they just aren’tsure what to eat or how to grocery shop. A fellow muffintop loser (the Ridler) and I put this together as aneasy to use guide for dropping some pounds. Starting with BREAKFAST!
First, a few notes from my experiences: When I first became aware of calories, I kept going over my1310 calorie a day budget. My friendlooked at my log and we quickly realized that I ate up most of my calorie allotmentbefore noon! I also realized that I havea lot of will power in the morning and it starts to dwindle as the day goes on.SO- the best place to start to make changes was in the morning… atbreakfast. Then later in the evening, Imight have room for an evening snack or glass of wine.
COMMIT TO 8 WEEKS! Ifyour 8 weeks starts now- you are looking at now until the middle of July. First, you have to learn to record everythingyou eat… that takes a few days. I usedto nibble the kids leftovers and take “handfuls” of things without even realizingit. Measure EVERYTHING! Once you knowhow to record everything that goes into your mouth, you can try to adjust theamounts. Becoming, aware of your dailyhabits takes a few weeks to get used to. Then it will take you a few more weeks to make new habits. That’s why I think that 8 weeks is a magicnumber to see results! You will get intothe swing of it! Before you know it, you will be dropping 1 pound a week. Yourclothes will loosen up! You will feel lighter! You will have more energy! Youwill be able to move more quickly and confidently. Boom! You hit your goal then you can eat morecalories per day again. When you reach 8 weeks, you will want to do another 8 weeks with a new goal.
Calorie Breakdown:200 (breakfast 8- 9am)100 (snack 10 or 11am)250- 350 (lunch- noon or 1)100 (snack 3pm)350-450 (dinner 6-7pm)100 (evening snack)
TOTAL: 1100- 1300 calories
Breakfast:
OPTION 1:
OPTION 2:
OPTION 3:
OPTION 4:
OPTION 5: Peanut butter (1 Tbsp is 100 calories) on an English Muffin(Thomas wheat 100 calories)*You will figure out that a whole Tbsp and a whole muffin isa lot! You could cut it in half.Coffee or Tea with measured 1 Tbsp creamer 35 calories- (Splenda?Stevia? NO SUGAR) Handful of berries (25 calories)Total- less than 250
Now remember, IF YOU DO A CARDIOVASCULAR exercise to burnextra calories, you can eat more! Add them to your calorie count! Get to the gym, go for awalk, a bike ride, chase your kids at the park, play softball, do yoga etc.etc. !
As I have said before, I LOVE breakfast foods! I use to LOVE cereal. I used to eat Kashi Go Lean Heart to Heart cereal (thekids call it “mom kind”) almost every day. Now I enjoy it now and again but smaller portions and with skim milk or almondmilk.I have beenknown to eat a pumpkin roll with cheesecake filling french toast but I savethose for dessert on days that I work out.
I don't like to call this a "DIET" in the sense of a temporary thing... it should be changing the way you eat forever... HOWEVER, you will NOT have to monitor so closely what you eat for too long. Do it until you make new habits and lose the weight. While you are trying to lose you are consuming a deficit of calories. Once you get used to new foods and portions, you will not want to go back to your old ways- your old ways will gross you out. You will get more calories a day to maintain you new weight and your new calorie count will feel like a ton. This new YOU will feel great! It WILL make your form new habits to eating the rightportions of food! Please note: I knowthere are always better and better ways to eats. (eliminating caffeine,cleanse, raw foods, all organic, vegetarian, no sugar) This is where I am on myjourney and I am REALLY happy to be here now. Another BLOG that I LOVE is REAL FOOD. They are all about healthy choices!
So, there ya go… those are our favorite breakfast options todrop pounds. Tell us what youthink! Look forward to upcoming posts forlunch, snack, dinner and dessert options.
Who talks about New Year’s Resolutions in May? We do. How youare you doing with yours? My 2 resolutionshad to do with BUDGETING… 1. My money 2. My calories to lose some weight. Today’s post will revisit the latter. I started to count calories (using myfitnesspal app) back inNovember. I’ve lost 12+ pounds and I amreally happy with how all my clothes fit. Moreso, I am happy about what I eat and how I feel. My “pals” who include girlfriends, sisters,mom, cousins, uncles, my husband and everyone else who asks us about it, can’tbelieve how it works! It is pure MATH…clear scientific evidence (calories in- calories out)! Counting calories works to lose weight! Everyonewho stuck with it religiously for 12 weeks has made significant healthy changes. Besides the inches lost, we have had some greatlaughs and created memories cheering each other on and competing atthings. It has been a fun game to playwith each other- for heaven’s sake, my husband special ordered me adidas shoeswith “muffintops” embroidered across the heel. A couple girls got into the “alpha dog”competition at the gym and they kicked BUTT! One of them is advancing to the nextround. I have enjoyed many “plank offs”at parties with these healthy buddies. My uncle who is 20- years older than me won the last round- darn it!
This post was inspired by 2 of my favorite “sisters”… we won’tuser real names just yet so we will call them… Mrs. Weet Weet and Mrs. GigglesMcGoo! They want to lose weight but they just aren’tsure what to eat or how to grocery shop. A fellow muffintop loser (the Ridler) and I put this together as aneasy to use guide for dropping some pounds. Starting with BREAKFAST!
First, a few notes from my experiences: When I first became aware of calories, I kept going over my1310 calorie a day budget. My friendlooked at my log and we quickly realized that I ate up most of my calorie allotmentbefore noon! I also realized that I havea lot of will power in the morning and it starts to dwindle as the day goes on.SO- the best place to start to make changes was in the morning… atbreakfast. Then later in the evening, Imight have room for an evening snack or glass of wine.
COMMIT TO 8 WEEKS! Ifyour 8 weeks starts now- you are looking at now until the middle of July. First, you have to learn to record everythingyou eat… that takes a few days. I usedto nibble the kids leftovers and take “handfuls” of things without even realizingit. Measure EVERYTHING! Once you knowhow to record everything that goes into your mouth, you can try to adjust theamounts. Becoming, aware of your dailyhabits takes a few weeks to get used to. Then it will take you a few more weeks to make new habits. That’s why I think that 8 weeks is a magicnumber to see results! You will get intothe swing of it! Before you know it, you will be dropping 1 pound a week. Yourclothes will loosen up! You will feel lighter! You will have more energy! Youwill be able to move more quickly and confidently. Boom! You hit your goal then you can eat morecalories per day again. When you reach 8 weeks, you will want to do another 8 weeks with a new goal.
Calorie Breakdown:200 (breakfast 8- 9am)100 (snack 10 or 11am)250- 350 (lunch- noon or 1)100 (snack 3pm)350-450 (dinner 6-7pm)100 (evening snack)TOTAL: 1100- 1300 calories
Breakfast:
OPTION 1:
Oatmeal Bliss!
Oatmeal (150 for 1/2 cup)- Almond unsweetened vanilla milk (18calories for 1/2 cup)Add a handful of blueberries, strawberries, grapes or blackberriesJ (when they are startto go bad and are getting mushy you can still eat them in your oatmeal or a smoothie!)- ~20 caloriesCoffee or Tea with measured 1 Tbsp creamer 35 calories- (Splenda?Stevia? NO SUGAR) Total – just over 200OPTION 2:
Eggerific Sandwich!
Egg white sandwich- ½ English muffin (50 calories for Thomaswheat), 2 egg whites (18 calories per), thin slice of ham (15 calories) spraybutter (zero calories)¼ cup of cottage cheese (45 calories)Coffee or Tea with measured 1 Tbsp creamer 35 calories- (Splenda?Stevia? NO SUGAR) Total- less than 200OPTION 3:
Shake it up!
Protein shake- 1 scoop ~100 calories, 1 whole cup of almondmilk (35 calories) plus fruitIt doesn’t seem like it fills you up but it’s fast andhealthy- great way to get your vitamins and suppliments. It’s an energy booster…it starts your metabolism. Plus, youwill be eating 2 hours later. Coffee or Tea withmeasured 1 Tbsp creamer 35 calories- (Splenda? Stevia? NO SUGAR) Total: Less than 200OPTION 4:
Yogie Morning!
1 serving of greek yogurt (140 calories) with high protein granola(1/8 cup 70 calories) Coffee or Tea with measured 1 Tbsp creamer 35 calories- (Splenda?Stevia? NO SUGAR) Total: 200OPTION 5: Peanut butter (1 Tbsp is 100 calories) on an English Muffin(Thomas wheat 100 calories)*You will figure out that a whole Tbsp and a whole muffin isa lot! You could cut it in half.Coffee or Tea with measured 1 Tbsp creamer 35 calories- (Splenda?Stevia? NO SUGAR) Handful of berries (25 calories)Total- less than 250
Now remember, IF YOU DO A CARDIOVASCULAR exercise to burnextra calories, you can eat more! Add them to your calorie count! Get to the gym, go for awalk, a bike ride, chase your kids at the park, play softball, do yoga etc.etc. !
As I have said before, I LOVE breakfast foods! I use to LOVE cereal. I used to eat Kashi Go Lean Heart to Heart cereal (thekids call it “mom kind”) almost every day. Now I enjoy it now and again but smaller portions and with skim milk or almondmilk.I have beenknown to eat a pumpkin roll with cheesecake filling french toast but I savethose for dessert on days that I work out.
I don't like to call this a "DIET" in the sense of a temporary thing... it should be changing the way you eat forever... HOWEVER, you will NOT have to monitor so closely what you eat for too long. Do it until you make new habits and lose the weight. While you are trying to lose you are consuming a deficit of calories. Once you get used to new foods and portions, you will not want to go back to your old ways- your old ways will gross you out. You will get more calories a day to maintain you new weight and your new calorie count will feel like a ton. This new YOU will feel great! It WILL make your form new habits to eating the rightportions of food! Please note: I knowthere are always better and better ways to eats. (eliminating caffeine,cleanse, raw foods, all organic, vegetarian, no sugar) This is where I am on myjourney and I am REALLY happy to be here now. Another BLOG that I LOVE is REAL FOOD. They are all about healthy choices!
So, there ya go… those are our favorite breakfast options todrop pounds. Tell us what youthink! Look forward to upcoming posts forlunch, snack, dinner and dessert options.
Grieving and Fun Funerals (?!)
To contact us Click HERE
Dear Diary,
The universe has been begging me to share my thoughts on thesubject of death. They say it is part oflife... and now it’s a part of my blog. (Inever really planned to write about death.) I have been to 5 funerals in the last couple months.
What do you do when you find out someone has passed?Personally, I get on the phone with my sisters. I want to know the why and thehow and what can I do? What should I do? I look up facebook statuses and find old photos. And then I wait to hear about what servicesare being planned- where can I go to gather with others who also knew the onewho passed away or their loved ones?
When we recently heard that my uncle Vinny died, I got onthe phone will all my sisters. Everyone got together at my aunt’s house thatnight and then again at my mom’s a few days later. Everyone was exhausted by the news but we hadto be together. We told stories. Wecried but I think we laughed twice as much. That’s what he would have wanted. Messages, posts and phone calls were flooding in from near and far abouthow much Vinny would be missed. All thereminiscing helped my Uncle Matt (his brother) write one of the greatesteulogies ever. We started to wonder ifUncle Vinny knew how much everyone loved him- his always positive, alwaysamazingly helpful nature! How would wefill the void of his being? His doings?!
Many times we have to think about things we wish we wouldhave done or said. We think about whatwe could have done differently or wonder if we could have avoided thetragedy. I encourage you to talk aboutit. Write about the good times, squash the bad times. Think about the lessons learned from thatperson’s life. What is the legacy theyleft behind? Share with others what youare thinking as it will help you through the process and might help them dealtoo. Identify your feelings. Deal withthem- find peace with them. Death almostalways makes me about how much we should cherish every moment we have. It reminds us to show our love, speak our loveto the ones we love.
My kids are only 3 and 5 years old and already they’ve beenwitness to quite a few people’s funerals. I usually explain it as simply as I can. “I have some sad news to tellyou guys. Uncle Vinny died. He must have been sick but he didn’t reallyknow how sick he was. We won’t be able to see him anymore BUT we have GREAT memories about him. We shared greattimes with him. All of our great thoughtsabout Vinny will live in our hearts and we can think about him and talk abouthim whenever we want to… What is thegreatest things you remember about Uncle Vinny? When did you guys have the mostfun? Do you want to write a card for Granny?-She will really miss him since they spent so much time together and he took care of her.”
My kids have come with us to their great grandparent’sfunerals and to the funeral home a few other times during visitationhours. We talk about it beforehand. It’s not usually a big deal- justanother party to them. Some people might argue but personally, I think that isokay to bring the kids along. They bring joy and new life to an otherwise sometimessad atmosphere.
I was talking on the phone to a friend of mine about meetingat the funeral of our old high school friend. My friend was really uneasy aboutgoing to the funeral home. He wasn’tsure what to say, what to think, what to wear or how to pay respect. He had only been to 1 other funeral in hiswhole life. All of a sudden I felt likean expert. I started to talk about howour family usually handles funerals. I explained that my parents always told methat the funeral is really for the people who survived. We gather to reminisce and talk about ourmemories and feelings. I explained that hewill be able to read the room as to how the family wants people to payrespect. Some funerals have a quiet whisperyatmosphere… “I’m so sorry to hear.” Hugs, handshakes, sign the guest book, saya prayer. Other times, the room is fullof people talking in a lively manner. Family is smiling, embracing, singing and telling stories. Our family tends to do the latter. Our eyes are red and puffy but we celebrate.
My friend said, “I wasn’t that close to him. I haven’t even seen him lately but I feellike I should go.” I explained to myfriend, that if any part of him wants to go, he should. It is nice to go and talk with other peoplethat are there. Reminisce on good timeswith the person who passed and talk about the wonderful characteristics thatyou remember best about that person. Goto the funeral to celebrate his life… that is paying respect. The family will love to see all the peoplecoming to support them, even if you don’t talk to any family. I told him all this and he told me sharedwith me later how helpful that perspective was.
As I have already explained, our family chooses to celebratethe life of the person who passed away. Thefuneral/memorial services really exhibit this idea. I’ve done a lot of eventplanning and a Good FUN funeral isn’t much different. You have to pick the date, time, location,invitations (word of mouth), music, food, drinks. For my Papa’s funeral and my Uncle Vinny’s wehad a Catholic service complete with great storytelling and musical ensembles. Matt told his life story and my mom’s choirsang. Brothers and sisters read from the bible and the grandchildren all sangalongside a guitar a family favorite “How Beautiful Heaven Must Be”. The kids brought flowers down the aisle. Afterward, we gathered for ice cream andcookies and a photo slideshow! Celebration! 
All that being said… Now I will share a couple of my personal opinions, areas of confusion and idea. I hope this doesn't seem insensitive- but I happen to think that many times weare giving into the peer pressure of tradition and there is a better way. I think that a lot of the traditions,protocols and expectations for the mourning family aren't right. Irealize that a lot of rituals were born out of religious and ancienttraditions. Most people don’t want toplan ahead or talk about what-if-I-die scenarios so all of the decisions forwhat happens next happen in a pressured, stressed and rushed time-frame. Loved ones of the person who passed away feela tremendous responsibility to honor their loved one with proper and acceptedactivities AND all of the decisions need to be made VERY quickly under sad(sometimes shocked) circumstances. Theysay the funeral business is very lucrative one and I can imagine why… impulsebuys and pressure shopping. I can only speak for the services that I havewitnessed. Mostly they have beenChristian-based arrangements in Midwest suburbia... I’ve alsoseen Jewish and Chaldean services as well but I wasn’t very close to the family. But I would love for some things to change or someone to help me understand it.
Laying out the body? Is that necessary? Many of my family membershave chosen for their organs to be donated and for their bodies to be cremated. Donate your organs... save a life: http://organdonor.gov/index.html It just makes more sense to me. Also, in that case, there isn’t as much of arush to get the celebration planned.
Funerals and Memorials Luncheon Should be a Potluck! I think it is so nice to get together and grieve and celebrate. BUT I don't see the point that a grieving family should feel pressure to plan a big luncheon and pay for it! (many can't afford it.) If I am invited to the luncheon, I go assuming that this this is the way they want to celebrate- but a part of me feels a little guilty or thinks about leaving the kids at home. Wouldn't it make more sense for the lunch to be a potluck? I'd be happy to bring a dish to pass.)
Dear Diary,
The universe has been begging me to share my thoughts on thesubject of death. They say it is part oflife... and now it’s a part of my blog. (Inever really planned to write about death.) I have been to 5 funerals in the last couple months.
Dealing with the News Initially
Sad and shocking news came recently in many forms- I saw onfacebook that an old high school friend passed away. I got a text from my brother that his bestfriend’s Dad passed away. I got a phone call from my sister that our uncleunexpectedly died. I heard word of mouthabout the passing of my friend’s grandma and a phone call about my brother inlaw’s grandpa. Also my best friend’s Dad died late last year. Thoughts rush through my mind as I hear thenews: When was the last time I saw them? Talked to them? Memories flood in. Who was closest to them and how might they befeeling?What do you do when you find out someone has passed?Personally, I get on the phone with my sisters. I want to know the why and thehow and what can I do? What should I do? I look up facebook statuses and find old photos. And then I wait to hear about what servicesare being planned- where can I go to gather with others who also knew the onewho passed away or their loved ones?
When we recently heard that my uncle Vinny died, I got onthe phone will all my sisters. Everyone got together at my aunt’s house thatnight and then again at my mom’s a few days later. Everyone was exhausted by the news but we hadto be together. We told stories. Wecried but I think we laughed twice as much. That’s what he would have wanted. Messages, posts and phone calls were flooding in from near and far abouthow much Vinny would be missed. All thereminiscing helped my Uncle Matt (his brother) write one of the greatesteulogies ever. We started to wonder ifUncle Vinny knew how much everyone loved him- his always positive, alwaysamazingly helpful nature! How would wefill the void of his being? His doings?!
Grieving
The grieving process is complicated and often surprising. There are many variables to the how you maydeal with death. It depends on how you wereraised to think about it. It depends onwhat your family does to deal with it. It depends on what you believe happens after death. Itcan depend on the life that the person led and the nature of your relationshipwith the individual. It doesn’t always matterhow close you were currently or whether you talked to the person recently ornot. It’s more about the way their lifetouched yours. Grieving is about dealingwith the idea that you won’t ever be able to see them again in the flesh. I think it is important to allow yourself togo through the grieving process. Putyourself in the position to address feelings you have in relation to the deathyou are dealing with. Don’t hold backtears. Don’t force them. The harsh reality could hit ya later- like a mac truckwhen you least expect it. Grieving cancome out in weird ways over the course of time. It can be shown as sadness, anger, anxiety, depression and other unusualbehavior.Many times we have to think about things we wish we wouldhave done or said. We think about whatwe could have done differently or wonder if we could have avoided thetragedy. I encourage you to talk aboutit. Write about the good times, squash the bad times. Think about the lessons learned from thatperson’s life. What is the legacy theyleft behind? Share with others what youare thinking as it will help you through the process and might help them dealtoo. Identify your feelings. Deal withthem- find peace with them. Death almostalways makes me about how much we should cherish every moment we have. It reminds us to show our love, speak our loveto the ones we love.
Talking with Kids
My kids are only 3 and 5 years old and already they’ve beenwitness to quite a few people’s funerals. I usually explain it as simply as I can. “I have some sad news to tellyou guys. Uncle Vinny died. He must have been sick but he didn’t reallyknow how sick he was. We won’t be able to see him anymore BUT we have GREAT memories about him. We shared greattimes with him. All of our great thoughtsabout Vinny will live in our hearts and we can think about him and talk abouthim whenever we want to… What is thegreatest things you remember about Uncle Vinny? When did you guys have the mostfun? Do you want to write a card for Granny?-She will really miss him since they spent so much time together and he took care of her.” My kids have come with us to their great grandparent’sfunerals and to the funeral home a few other times during visitationhours. We talk about it beforehand. It’s not usually a big deal- justanother party to them. Some people might argue but personally, I think that isokay to bring the kids along. They bring joy and new life to an otherwise sometimessad atmosphere. Attending the Visitation/Funeral
For the funeral of my old high school friend, I was experiencing grief but I wasn’t anywhere near the inner circle of family and friends whose dailylives would be affected by his death. Evenso, I was so saddened that he died at such a young age and so unexpectedly. He left behind his wife (who I knew well inhigh school) and 2 young boys. I knew I had to go to the visitation.I was talking on the phone to a friend of mine about meetingat the funeral of our old high school friend. My friend was really uneasy aboutgoing to the funeral home. He wasn’tsure what to say, what to think, what to wear or how to pay respect. He had only been to 1 other funeral in hiswhole life. All of a sudden I felt likean expert. I started to talk about howour family usually handles funerals. I explained that my parents always told methat the funeral is really for the people who survived. We gather to reminisce and talk about ourmemories and feelings. I explained that hewill be able to read the room as to how the family wants people to payrespect. Some funerals have a quiet whisperyatmosphere… “I’m so sorry to hear.” Hugs, handshakes, sign the guest book, saya prayer. Other times, the room is fullof people talking in a lively manner. Family is smiling, embracing, singing and telling stories. Our family tends to do the latter. Our eyes are red and puffy but we celebrate.
My friend said, “I wasn’t that close to him. I haven’t even seen him lately but I feellike I should go.” I explained to myfriend, that if any part of him wants to go, he should. It is nice to go and talk with other peoplethat are there. Reminisce on good timeswith the person who passed and talk about the wonderful characteristics thatyou remember best about that person. Goto the funeral to celebrate his life… that is paying respect. The family will love to see all the peoplecoming to support them, even if you don’t talk to any family. I told him all this and he told me sharedwith me later how helpful that perspective was.
Showing your Support
A lot of people send flowers. Funeral arrangements are beautifulBUT they are big, hard to transport back to people’s houses, they are expensiveand they die. Don’t get me wrong, I don’thate flowers but I think there are sometimes betters ways to show our love and support.Here are some ideas.Donate to a charity
Many people specific acharity to donate to in lieu of flowers. If not, you can make a donation and write the family a card.Donate Food
Families who are grieving a lost one and planning thearrangements are often too busy to cook. It is always nice to send a platter of veggies, cheese/crackers or lunch-meat. Edible Arrangements (fruit onsticks) are so nice and yummy! They can share all of this with guest or take ithome to enjoy. Homemade frozen dinners are a good idea that will come in handy inthe weeks to come.Special Talents?
What service do you do well that you could offer? Could youput together the photoboard? A video? Are you good at putting togetherslideshows? Do they need a hand moving things? Carrying/cleaning?Donate Music
We have a friend who plays the violin. We hired him for oneof our friends. My mom plays therecorder and sings in a choir. She hasoffered this to services.Check in LATER
There is a lot of initial shock and commotion when someonepasses away. I can imagine that whenthings settle down is when sometimes reality sets in. Do something for the family after the fact- lifegoes back to “normal”. Send a card… makea donation, give a little thoughtful gift… a week later… a month later… a yearlater.Planning the Celebration
As I have already explained, our family chooses to celebratethe life of the person who passed away. Thefuneral/memorial services really exhibit this idea. I’ve done a lot of eventplanning and a Good FUN funeral isn’t much different. You have to pick the date, time, location,invitations (word of mouth), music, food, drinks. For my Papa’s funeral and my Uncle Vinny’s wehad a Catholic service complete with great storytelling and musical ensembles. Matt told his life story and my mom’s choirsang. Brothers and sisters read from the bible and the grandchildren all sangalongside a guitar a family favorite “How Beautiful Heaven Must Be”. The kids brought flowers down the aisle. Afterward, we gathered for ice cream andcookies and a photo slideshow! Celebration! Things I just don’t get!
All that being said… Now I will share a couple of my personal opinions, areas of confusion and idea. I hope this doesn't seem insensitive- but I happen to think that many times weare giving into the peer pressure of tradition and there is a better way. I think that a lot of the traditions,protocols and expectations for the mourning family aren't right. Irealize that a lot of rituals were born out of religious and ancienttraditions. Most people don’t want toplan ahead or talk about what-if-I-die scenarios so all of the decisions forwhat happens next happen in a pressured, stressed and rushed time-frame. Loved ones of the person who passed away feela tremendous responsibility to honor their loved one with proper and acceptedactivities AND all of the decisions need to be made VERY quickly under sad(sometimes shocked) circumstances. Theysay the funeral business is very lucrative one and I can imagine why… impulsebuys and pressure shopping. I can only speak for the services that I havewitnessed. Mostly they have beenChristian-based arrangements in Midwest suburbia... I’ve alsoseen Jewish and Chaldean services as well but I wasn’t very close to the family. But I would love for some things to change or someone to help me understand it.
Laying out the body? Is that necessary? Many of my family membershave chosen for their organs to be donated and for their bodies to be cremated. Donate your organs... save a life: http://organdonor.gov/index.html It just makes more sense to me. Also, in that case, there isn’t as much of arush to get the celebration planned.
Funerals and Memorials Luncheon Should be a Potluck! I think it is so nice to get together and grieve and celebrate. BUT I don't see the point that a grieving family should feel pressure to plan a big luncheon and pay for it! (many can't afford it.) If I am invited to the luncheon, I go assuming that this this is the way they want to celebrate- but a part of me feels a little guilty or thinks about leaving the kids at home. Wouldn't it make more sense for the lunch to be a potluck? I'd be happy to bring a dish to pass.)
24 Haziran 2012 Pazar
Turkey Jerky For Your Pets
To contact us Click HERE
When this time of year rolls around, everyone is all hyped up over the Super Bowl. I never grew up in a sports family and thankfully I only had to deal with football on Thanksgiving when my uncles would take over the T.V. Truth be told, I am just not that into football and I don't really understand any of it, except for you aim to get the ball on the other side of the field. So it comes to no shock to a lot of people when I tell that that instead of watching football on Sunday, I plan on watching the Puppy Bowl on Animal Planet. I mean seriously, you have to be blind and heartless not to find it adorable. All those puppies running around, pouncing on each other and just having a grand ol' time. Then of course there is the Kitty Halftime, which in my opinion is better than some of the performers they get for the Half Time. Half of the kittens pounce on all the cool toys zipping around and then the other half are just wide eyed wondering "Where am I?!" I really could go on and on about how awesome I think the Puppy Bowl is. So while all the food bloggers out there are doing appetizer posts for the Super Bowl, I will be doing one for our very special four legged furry friends.
This recipe comes from Rachael Ray's website and when I heard about the recipe I knew it was perfect. Very few ingredients, easy to make and it's something that dog, cat or even human can eat. I had no difficulty at all making these... unless you could the fact that I accidentally turned off the oven halfway through when I only meant to turn off the timer. So four hours later I go out to the oven to pull the finished jerky out of the oven and realize that not only is the oven cold but the jerky looks the same as it did 2 hours ago when I cut them. Oops! So I turned the oven back on and put them in for another two hours. The finished product turned out great and the girls gobbled them up. I did cut them into 1" by 2" strips since my cats are not the size of an Irish Wolfhound.
*This recipe makes quite a bit of treats, so I gave some to a friend who's dog is a picky eater (he doesn't like dog treats) and a cat and she said that they loved them. She also shared some with her father's 4 dogs dogs and they sat at attention waiting to get more treats. So these were definitely a success!
This post is submitted in
What's Cooking Thursday
These Chicks Cook
When this time of year rolls around, everyone is all hyped up over the Super Bowl. I never grew up in a sports family and thankfully I only had to deal with football on Thanksgiving when my uncles would take over the T.V. Truth be told, I am just not that into football and I don't really understand any of it, except for you aim to get the ball on the other side of the field. So it comes to no shock to a lot of people when I tell that that instead of watching football on Sunday, I plan on watching the Puppy Bowl on Animal Planet. I mean seriously, you have to be blind and heartless not to find it adorable. All those puppies running around, pouncing on each other and just having a grand ol' time. Then of course there is the Kitty Halftime, which in my opinion is better than some of the performers they get for the Half Time. Half of the kittens pounce on all the cool toys zipping around and then the other half are just wide eyed wondering "Where am I?!" I really could go on and on about how awesome I think the Puppy Bowl is. So while all the food bloggers out there are doing appetizer posts for the Super Bowl, I will be doing one for our very special four legged furry friends.
This recipe comes from Rachael Ray's website and when I heard about the recipe I knew it was perfect. Very few ingredients, easy to make and it's something that dog, cat or even human can eat. I had no difficulty at all making these... unless you could the fact that I accidentally turned off the oven halfway through when I only meant to turn off the timer. So four hours later I go out to the oven to pull the finished jerky out of the oven and realize that not only is the oven cold but the jerky looks the same as it did 2 hours ago when I cut them. Oops! So I turned the oven back on and put them in for another two hours. The finished product turned out great and the girls gobbled them up. I did cut them into 1" by 2" strips since my cats are not the size of an Irish Wolfhound.
*This recipe makes quite a bit of treats, so I gave some to a friend who's dog is a picky eater (he doesn't like dog treats) and a cat and she said that they loved them. She also shared some with her father's 4 dogs dogs and they sat at attention waiting to get more treats. So these were definitely a success!
- 1 pound ground turkey
- 1/2 cup grated carrot
- 2 tablespoons whole-berry cranberry sauce
- 1 tablespoon EVOO
- Preheat the oven to 200 degrees . In a bowl, combine the turkey, carrot, cranberry sauce and EVOO. Spread the mixture evenly on a 9-by-11-inch foil-lined baking sheet; bake for 2 hours.
- Carefully turn out the meat onto a large cutting board and cut into 1-by- 4-inch strips. Return the strips to the foil-lined baking sheet and bake until completely dry, about 2 more hours. Transfer to a rack and let cool before storing in the refrigerator.
This post is submitted in
What's Cooking Thursday
These Chicks Cook
My Memories Suite v3 Review & Giveaway
To contact us Click HERE
I know that this a food blog but when I was approached to do another review/giveaway by a company called My Memories, I looked at their digital scrapbooking software and I knew that a lot of you guys would be interested in this. But first I need to get this off of my chest... I do not scrapbook. I tried it once, about 7 years ago and I got as far as three pages before I finally called it quits. I love scrapbooks, I think they are awesome but I suck at it. And if you are like me, this program comes with pre-made templates where all you need to do is click on the photo you want and drop it into the photo section and voila! You can even move the different elements that are on the template around. So even though it is a pre-made template you can still go in and make it yours. After playing around with the templates I decided to get ballsy and try my hand at making my own from scratch. It took a few tries to get the hang of it but I love the results! There are so many more things that you can do other than scrapbook. One thing that I might take advantage of is instead of the old typed out recipe layout, I might start doing it like this.... I think it gives the recipes more personality.
This program has so many features and embellishes that are already done for you, that it makes it extremely easy for someone like me. I think that is what made me really fall in love with this program. So I just wanted to show you a few of the pages that I made. Now like I said before, I am not artsy, I wouldn't even be surprised if my mom told me that I used to eat paste during craft time in kindergarten.
My Memories was nice enough to not only give away My Memories Suite v3 to one lucky reader ($40 value) but they are also giving everyone $20 off of their products! $10 off of the software itself and another $10 off of their kits in their store. So even if you don't win the grand prize, everyone walks away a winner!
The promotional code is STMMMS81032
a Rafflecopter giveaway
I know that this a food blog but when I was approached to do another review/giveaway by a company called My Memories, I looked at their digital scrapbooking software and I knew that a lot of you guys would be interested in this. But first I need to get this off of my chest... I do not scrapbook. I tried it once, about 7 years ago and I got as far as three pages before I finally called it quits. I love scrapbooks, I think they are awesome but I suck at it. And if you are like me, this program comes with pre-made templates where all you need to do is click on the photo you want and drop it into the photo section and voila! You can even move the different elements that are on the template around. So even though it is a pre-made template you can still go in and make it yours. After playing around with the templates I decided to get ballsy and try my hand at making my own from scratch. It took a few tries to get the hang of it but I love the results! There are so many more things that you can do other than scrapbook. One thing that I might take advantage of is instead of the old typed out recipe layout, I might start doing it like this.... I think it gives the recipes more personality.This program has so many features and embellishes that are already done for you, that it makes it extremely easy for someone like me. I think that is what made me really fall in love with this program. So I just wanted to show you a few of the pages that I made. Now like I said before, I am not artsy, I wouldn't even be surprised if my mom told me that I used to eat paste during craft time in kindergarten.
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My Memories was nice enough to not only give away My Memories Suite v3 to one lucky reader ($40 value) but they are also giving everyone $20 off of their products! $10 off of the software itself and another $10 off of their kits in their store. So even if you don't win the grand prize, everyone walks away a winner!
The promotional code is STMMMS81032
a Rafflecopter giveaway
Undone Stuffed Pepper Casserole
To contact us Click HERE
I LOVE stuffed peppers but with it being just the Mr. and I, making stuffed peppers is a whole lot of work for just two people. Not to mention that there is no such thing as making just 2 stuffed peppers, the filling you make could stuff a grocery store worth of peppers. So... what does one do when cooking for two? ALAS, I have the solution for you! (okay if you don't know what it is yet, then you clearly haven't been paying attention to the website you're currently on). Instead of stuffing "x" amount of peppers to use up your filling, what about mixing it all together in a pan, throwing it in the oven and forgetting about it until the oven screams "BEEP"? Oh, did I forget to add that it tastes exactly the same as its stuffed pepper cousin? Yup! I don't know about you but I always end up chopping my stuffed pepper up on my plate creating a chaotic mess anyways. So why not skip the extra steps and make a casserole. The leftovers are delicious and if you are cooking for just one, this is a perfect make ahead dish, you can store the leftovers in individual servings in your freezer for dinners down the road.
I got the recipe from Kraft and the only thing that I changed from the recipe below is the spaghetti sauce. I used a big can of crushed tomatoes instead since that was what I always have on hand. Other than that I followed the recipe and it came out delicious.
This post is submitted in
Real Food Wednesday
These Chicks Cooked
I LOVE stuffed peppers but with it being just the Mr. and I, making stuffed peppers is a whole lot of work for just two people. Not to mention that there is no such thing as making just 2 stuffed peppers, the filling you make could stuff a grocery store worth of peppers. So... what does one do when cooking for two? ALAS, I have the solution for you! (okay if you don't know what it is yet, then you clearly haven't been paying attention to the website you're currently on). Instead of stuffing "x" amount of peppers to use up your filling, what about mixing it all together in a pan, throwing it in the oven and forgetting about it until the oven screams "BEEP"? Oh, did I forget to add that it tastes exactly the same as its stuffed pepper cousin? Yup! I don't know about you but I always end up chopping my stuffed pepper up on my plate creating a chaotic mess anyways. So why not skip the extra steps and make a casserole. The leftovers are delicious and if you are cooking for just one, this is a perfect make ahead dish, you can store the leftovers in individual servings in your freezer for dinners down the road.I got the recipe from Kraft and the only thing that I changed from the recipe below is the spaghetti sauce. I used a big can of crushed tomatoes instead since that was what I always have on hand. Other than that I followed the recipe and it came out delicious.
- 1 lb. lean ground beef
- 2 green peppers, coarsely chopped
- 3 cloves garlic, minced
- 2 cups cooked long-grain white rice
- 1 (24 oz.) can crushed tomatoes
- 1-1/2 cups shredded five cheese blend, divided
- Preheat oven to 350F
- Brown meat with peppers and garlic in large skillet; drain. Stir in rice, spaghetti sauce and 3/4 cup cheese.
- Spoon into 2-qt. casserole; top with remaining cheese.
- Bake 25 min. or until heated through.
This post is submitted in
Real Food Wednesday
These Chicks Cooked
Healthified Garlic Shrimp Pasta
To contact us Click HERE
Ever have one of those days where you wait until the very last minute to figure out what to make for dinner? I do it all the time and usually end up eating hamburgers or leftovers for dinner. Except last week I was lucky enough to have everything on hand for this recipe from Betty Crocker. Well... almost everything at least.
I did change some things from the original recipe below starting with the tomatoes. I didn't have cherry tomatoes and I wasn't going to run to the store at 5 o'clock to pick some up. I had a roman tomato staring me down and decided that it would do just fine. I also used thawed frozen spinach instead of fresh. I have some fresh vegetables but the majority of what I have on hand is frozen. With it just being the two of us, we don't do through the vegetables fast enough and I end up throwing them out in the end. And last but not least, I used dry vermouth in place of the wine. With my substitutions, I loved this dish. So much so that between the Mr. and I, we ate the whole thing.
8 oz uncooked multigrain pasta 4 cups fresh baby spinach leaves 1 1/2 cups halved cherry tomatoes 3 teaspoons olive oil 1 medium onion, finely chopped 1 1/2lb fresh medium shrimp, peeled, deveined and tail shells removed 3 cloves garlic, finely chopped 1/4 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes 1/2 cup dry white wine or reduced-sodium chicken broth 1/4 cup reduced-sodium chicken broth 1/4 teaspoon salt 1/8 teaspoon pepper 3 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley 2 tablespoons butter
This post is submitted in
Friday Food and Recipe Linky
Ever have one of those days where you wait until the very last minute to figure out what to make for dinner? I do it all the time and usually end up eating hamburgers or leftovers for dinner. Except last week I was lucky enough to have everything on hand for this recipe from Betty Crocker. Well... almost everything at least.I did change some things from the original recipe below starting with the tomatoes. I didn't have cherry tomatoes and I wasn't going to run to the store at 5 o'clock to pick some up. I had a roman tomato staring me down and decided that it would do just fine. I also used thawed frozen spinach instead of fresh. I have some fresh vegetables but the majority of what I have on hand is frozen. With it just being the two of us, we don't do through the vegetables fast enough and I end up throwing them out in the end. And last but not least, I used dry vermouth in place of the wine. With my substitutions, I loved this dish. So much so that between the Mr. and I, we ate the whole thing.- In 5-quart saucepan or Dutch oven, cook pasta as directed on package. Drain; return to saucepan. Stir in spinach, tomatoes and 2 teaspoons of the oil. Cover to keep warm.
- While pasta is cooking, in 12-inch nonstick skillet, heat remaining 1 teaspoon oil over medium-high heat. Add onion; cook and stir 1 minute. Add shrimp, garlic and pepper flakes; cook and stir 2 minutes.
- Stir in wine, broth, salt and pepper; cook 2 minutes or until shrimp are pink and firm. Remove from heat; stir in parsley and butter until butter is melted. Add shrimp mixture to pasta mixture in saucepan; toss to mix.
This post is submitted in
Friday Food and Recipe Linky
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