Quotes & Mantras that Get this Mother Through

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Dear Diary, They say good stress can be just as tough on the body andmind as bad stress.  In the past 2months, I have had my share of it. I resigned from a job I love, started somenew work, 3 funerals, 5 birthday parties, 2 new babies born, a baby shower (60people) and a big NSA Event (150 people) and more!  A few of these events, I was involved in as aninnocent bystander but for the majority of them I played a leading role.  Why? Because I am the “oldest” and apparentlyI will never outgrow that title.  I grewup in that role and I love be in charge. The more sincere reason that I am involved is that I love family and “Thetime we spend together makes a difference.”- (recent quote by my husband Freddy)  So, I have a lot of things I want to blogabout…  just haven’t had the time.  Below I list these events (for my ownentertainment and as recorded evidence) and then we will get to the good stuff! 


Feb 13^th- Resigned from my position at theNational Stuttering Association (an organization I love!) Feb 18^th - Mea & Eva’s Birthday PartyFeb 18^th - New niece Cora was bornFeb 20^th - Signed up as a Thirty-One ConsultantFeb 27^th - Kat and Layla came to visit fromBoston (for a few weeks)Mar 4^th- our 6^th wedding anniversaryA few other “private” family events took placeMar 6^th- Parent meeting for Mea’s kindergarten Mar 10^th- Worked our mom to mom sale- (Kat and I)Mar 12^th- Vince Andrew (my new nephew) was born (Vincewas in ICU for 5 days)Mar 14^th – my first Thirty- One party (at Teri’s)Mar 17^th- Ricky’s 1^st BirthdayMar 18^th – Kat’s Thirty-One Party (my 2^ndone)Mar 23^rd- Funeral – Billy Ray’s Dad diedMar 27^th- Funeral- An old high school friend diedunexpectedly leaving his wife and 2 kidsApr 7^th- Baby Shower (lead the planning team)Apr 7^th- Lexa’s Birthday partyApril 7^th “Spring Fling” argument with husband (that's what he called it)…wonder why we argued? Maybe all this “good and bad” stress?!... maybe cause we were duefor a fight, maybe because we should slow down a tad or maybe we just wanted tomake up.Apr 8^th- EasterApr 11^th - My uncle Vinny died (56 years old)unexpectedlyApr 14^th – NSA Family Fun Day (I lead theplanning team)Apr 15^th- Mom’s Thirty-One Party (my 3^rd)Apr 20^th - GOING ON A WEEKEND VACATION TO CHICAGOWITH MY HUSBAND!!!!! To celebrate my coming birthday… and life and love andfamily!
(Look forward to posts about some of these things that happened :)
  Now that is a heck of a list... for 2 months.  But as I mentioned, I have some mantras thatplay in my mind.  These are some of the thingsI have heard keep me afloat.  Thesequotes are all by people who are famous in my book!

 “Busy, busy, busy…  just like I like it and I’d have it no otherway.” –me, Sarah D’Agostino

I find myself saying this quite a bit… usually to explainwhy I am a little late in responding to an email or sending a thank you note orwhy my craft room is a bit unorganized. It is why I am wrapping the gift in the car as I pull up to the birthdayparty and why there are banana peels in my car door and peas under the kitchentable from a few nights ago.  It isalmost like an apology but without complaining and I am really trying toembrace it all since all a choice that I have made.

“Pretend like you are hosting a party and you want everyoneto have a good time.” – my mom, Tess Dowgiallo

My mom gave me this advice when I got a job as a cocktailwaitress out of college at Second City Detroit. If you’ve ever been to a show, you know that it is a really great nightout and people are usually really excited to be there.  At the Detroit theatre, we waitress peoplehad a few additional obstacles to overcome: it was dark, there were stairs, thetables were very small and hard to get around and we had to whisper during theshow.  At the time I got the job, it wasa really big deal for me to take this position especially because I stuttered.  I was so anxious about the question “Whatbeers do you have?” After one of my first nights on the floor, I was talking tomy mom about how stressful it was. She gave me this advice: “Pretend like youare having a party and everyone in your section is a guest.  Just have a good time and try to makeeveryone else have a good time too.” Shifting my mindset for this cocktailingjob was so KEY! For me, this advice has moved beyond that job and is referencedon a more broad sense.  It applieseveryday and everywhere I go…  since Ifeel as though I am always at a party- and I might as well be a gracioushost!  Thanks MOM! I passed that advicealong to quite a few people over the years.  

 “Good enough is goodenough.”  - my friend, Amy Goward (pictured below)

This quote reminds me that having things “perfect” is notusually achievable or even worth the effort/anxiety.  For all the these events, I have so manyideas of what I’d like to bring, or cook, or make or get as a gift, or aspecial touch I want to on this or that. Frankly, there are not enough hours in the day! So my friend Amy told methat she used to obsess over things running according to plan until sherealized that with 3 kids that it’s just not how it is gonna be. Moreover, it’sjust not how it’s meant to be or how it should be. Good enough is perfect!

“Change is the only thing that is Constant.” – (not sure whosaid it, someone smart… and I quote it often!)

“This too shall pass.” –Bible (but often uttered by mysister in law, Maria Duppong)

My sister in law is now a mother of 2. Just like most of us,coming into the role of motherhood has forced her to change. We become a motherand is anything the same anymore?! We change our bodies, our schedules, wechange our cars to a minivans, and we change our clothes to shirts with easy accessto the boob and we especially our minds. We have a new way of thinking, altering our attitude and changing ourrelationships with the world.  Pre-baby, Mariawas a “super planner”- very goal oriented and straight forward on her path tothat goal.  When she was pregnant withher first, she had a plan for almost everything that would happen duringpregnancy, labor, birth, into the first year (work-wise, daycare-wise) until hewould be 5 years old, or maybe even 18. Her plan was circumvented when she realized that you just can’t plan asmuch with kids.  You just never know whatthe world will throw at you and how your child will react.  The 2 quotes above, she and I share witheachother when we need the reminder!  Thesesayings goes for times of trouble (so that you know it can’t last forever) butit also applies to the good times (you know it can’t last forever). We need torelish the moments as they pass by.

“Do what you can do. One day at a time. Whatever works foryou.” –my best friend,  Kristen Tobias    

My best friend becamea mom a couple years before I did and when I first had Mea, I looked into hereyes with a whole new respect.  I knew Iloved her before but I had no idea what she had gone through (in pregnancy,labor and being a first time mother) and all… without me? I wondered if I was agood friend during that time. Could I have been a friend if I didn’t understandthe magnitude of it all?  As things cameup and I went to her to vent or for advice, it was almost always the sameanswer…. “Do what you can do. One day at a time. Whatever works for you.”  She knew that I was usually just putting toomuch pressure on myself to live up to some standards.  Most importantly, she is the best listener Iknow.  Even now with 5 kids runningaround us, she can still sit still and listen.  She cocks her head to the side concerninglyand asks just the right questions. At the end, her advice is always simple andeasy. I just love her.
A few other pieces of advice for busy times... 

“Put it in the schedule and just focus on what’s next.”

“If your mind is racing (and you can’t sleep) write it downon paper to get it out of your head.”  

All of what has happened every the last 2 months came instride.  The girls were with me everystep of the way- they are so resilient and social and I can attribute some ofthat to our busy schedule.  Most of itwas a lot of it was FUN and quality time with family! Thank goodness for ourhealth! Let me say that again: THANK GOODNESS FOR OUR HEALTH!
Some of the more stressful things were unavoidable orunexpected.  I want to say thateverything has come to a head and I feel calmness about the weeks ahead… BUT Iam sure that we will fill up that schedule quickly. When I commit, I fulfill-which is why they say, “If you want something done, ask a busy person.” (SOTRUE)  My goal is to take it a notch downand be careful what commitments I make for the months ahead.